Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage