I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.