he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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