I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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