when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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