We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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