ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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