YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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