it wasn't lemon gatorade
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
