problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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