Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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