Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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