I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
