I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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