Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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