Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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