girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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