i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
