I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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