I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
