Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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