Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
