8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
