I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
