needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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