uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
