I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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