I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
