I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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