I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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