I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
