I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize