I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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