She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
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Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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