Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
