I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
