i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
