i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
