Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
