And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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