I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
