I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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