i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
