Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
