Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
