so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
