Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
