I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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