all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you win again, gameday.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
