Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
