I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize