What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
