you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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