I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
