She said her name was "party"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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