i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
