Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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