Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
