yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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