i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize