Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
