I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
