True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together