He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
